new prescription

'whoever is a believer in Christ
is a new creation.
the old way of living has disappeared.
a new way of living has come into existence.
God has done all this.'

2corinthians 5:17,18a

This is my new prescription. I'm going to put it on one of my old medicine bottles and take it every day.

Now that I've lived 54 years, I'm really beginning to notice my behavioural patterns...how I deal with stress in particular...
My old way of doing stress...doesn't work that well really.
God tipped me on some new ways to handle stress just yesterday. It's freeing and humbling all at the same time, but if I really believe that in Christ I am a new creation and the old way of living has in actuality disappeared, and the new way of living has in actuality come into existence and that I don't have to 'do' this miracle myself b/c God has done all this...I'm free to accept this gift and run with it.
Wouldn't you call that tremendous- what a word- I think it's tremendous. I want my old ruts to overgrow with grass and take the new paths- leaping and bounding like the new creation God has made of me.
I love God's Word!

now to the day...

some good things...

are happening...

every Monday since Christmas, my granddaughter and I have had a visit. We are reading the Hobbit and we are chatting together and we have a contest each week. This week it was to see who would do the most puzzles...counting by piece. I managed to do 2 puzzles amounting to 498 pieces...2 pieces missing...but I'm thinking that my little grandgirl will beat me. One puzzle is a historical map of Canada and the other is a drawing of a farmer and a horse and some children collecting apples. I learned a bit about Canadian geography and history. It was fun, taking a bit of time to puzzle...

So one of my prayers has been answered...it's a great way to connect with my little darling. It's a happiness I look forward to.

Girl's Club

One of the girls that has come to club since fall, has now moved away and will not be attending anymore. This is the second girl that has moved away...It makes me sad. I see these girls every week and I will miss them. The only thing I can do for them is pray for them...that's probably the best thing anyway. I love the energy they bring to my Wednesday nights...but then

it is a lot of work to prepare,and I have done it for a long time by now...I'm thinking that this will be my last year...I've said that before and then gotten back into it again, but I think my steamer is getting low...

tonight we worked on a scrapbook calendar and our sewing and our skit...then we played tag...now there's a good work out...next week we are playing glow mini golf

...I'm really tired...

life is rich

Today is a sunshiny day...
and since Christmas I have experienced a lot.

God is good.
He brings people into our lives who cheer us and encourage us...
the hard things don't go away, they seem to stay, but God helps us...this becomes our true riches...and life becomes better as a result.

Today I read..."I am the true vine, and my Father takes care of the vineyard...
He also prunes every branch that does produce fruit to make it produce more fruit"...Jesus

Over Christmas, I learned that hard things actually become good things...
my girls are far away, yes...but we really talk and the times we have together are very precious...which enriches the experiences I have here with my children close by...and now a new gift was given me just today...to realize the care of my niece...wow I'm still crying...this is so precious to me.

I was going to erase those unhappy blogs, but I forgot that part and left my journal open, didn't I?

there is no end to the goodness of God, is there?

my husband is making a fire...how comfortable that will be...

God bless you all

I'm delighted to see...

that no one has read the two blogs before this one.
If I was always to write happy thoughts, I would be a glass horse, just like the glass horse on my desk...never moves and always looks in the same direction, collecting dust.

We have had a very good Christmas...all the kids came home this year. We've had crasy times and some excellent memories have been noted...

I love the fact that we can talk things through and be done with them...on to something else and learn from the last. I've written a whole big journal of this Christmas and I'm happy for all the things that happened.

This year has been a rich Christmas...not wealthy...true rich...

the annuls of a weeping weekend

or should I say the annuls of coping...dealing with what life dishes out...

I cannot deny that I am a mother...that happened 32 years ago and things have not changed...I'm still a mother and even a grandmother.

how do I come to peace about my far away children?

I have relatives in the far east...
the harder I hold on, the harder it will be for me...
it may not be important for my children to be within reasonable distance, but what about the grandchildren...

do I suppose that for them it is equally unimportant?
grama is someone that lives far away...how do I have a good relationship with them without heartache?

lots of people are in my position

I was in church today, even though I didn't want to go...if something bothers me, a tap is turned on and I cry and cry...and that is what happened today. I'm trying to let go and it is very painful...but I'm very glad that we went to church, because God has given us a wonderufl church family...and I have to come to the place where I let them in to replace the ache, the missing of my girls and their families...

at first I felt that no one understands me, but now I feel that some do...and that will help...I pray for the grace to deal succesfully with this long distance sorrow...

funny...I thought the sorrow of my life was the fact that my first husband left us...that has gone and now I feel this sorrow...I cannot be a real part of my grandchidren's lives, the ones far away, and I pray for this grace to deal succesfully with.

I don't think this makes much sense...but maybe in writing it out things will slowly unravel and peace will descend my heart...

we are going out to see some of the kids tonight...it's really cold, so I will wear my long Christmas coat.

wow, a year later

i don't expect anyone to read this, so i'll just type away...

long distance sucks

it is Christmas again and the whole family is coming into town, or is here already...we are having a great time with the grandchildren...but are not really seeing the kids, who are busy shopping and doing stuff...

I'm thinking about the long distance relatives who we no longer know...no effort to speak of is made to maintain a friendship and so the relationship is relatives...what's that?

It worked that way for my mother's family, half of which moved to Ontario...it worked that way in my dad's family half of which is in BC...and now my three girls are moved far away, and even when they come here, I don't see them because they have so much catching up to do. It sucks. I am at an end.

As a grandmother, I would like to be part of my grandchildren's lives. It's wonderful when they come for a visit...I relly get to know them, because they are at my house for 3-4, 4-5 days...but then the rest of our lives I have to be content with phone calls, which are hard to understand what the little ones are saying, or the older ones don't have the time to talk...yes I could become more computer savy and use the eyeball, but that has been highly unsatisfying...like one of those computer pets...

To hardly ever have any normal times with my daughters is really killing me. I have a few choices, I suppose. Do I look for young women who need a mother to go shopping with, or go for coffee with...I suppose I could put an ad in the paper or look for an agency who needs older mother type figures. My nieces have their own mothers for that purpose. I have two wonderful daughter in laws, should I simply concentrate on who is around? I find that I'm becoming bitter. My first husband left us...that was terrible...now my girls are gone...Winnipeg has nothing to offer apparently...I'm really thinking I should go somewhere else myself, but then I see the two darling grandchildren here, close by, and I can't go anywhere else...I guess I have to suck it up...I'm just tired of being sad...on days like today, I wish life would go faster, so that I could just get it over with...

now how's that for a dismal blog?
I really can't do the old optimist thing tonight...
not too worried...no one will read this...this ought to really be going in my personal journal...let it just go down in the annals of the nature of this generation...this wide spread generation...this generation of broken families...

people will learn someday perhaps...some things are meant to be, simply because God made it that way and we shouldn't mess with it...family is meant to help each other out and when they move far apart, it's not too great and very difficult to maintain a good relationship...

this mother would like to spend time with her daughters...this grandmother would like to see her grandchildren grow up...it is not to be...

I'll leave this up a little while and then I'll erase it...because it's depressing me more...it's my midnight therapy...along with a lot of crying...so there now you know what I do for fun...

December 23rd, 2007

It's still Christmas time.

I am deeply moved with the beautiful gift expression our children sent us this Christmas. They are responding in a vital way to the people of the earth.

"This gift buys, vaccinates and provides shelter for one goat, while also training farmers on how to raise healthy and productive animals".
"This gift helps communities plant 100 trees".
"This gift provides one month of meals for an orphaned child".
"Please don't give us any gifts this year...we are going to give to a worthy cause instead. We will not go into debt, we will give what we can afford".

It's amazing what happens when we step out of the norm for our society, recognizing that the extravagance of Christmas giving and recieving is ...say it...
I am humbled. I am very proud of them. I am delighted with them.
There is so much we can do to help others.

As Christians, we are representative of Christ, as people of God's Kingdom. Jesus' mission was to preach good news to the poor, release for the captives, sight for the blind, freedom from oppression for the downtrodden.. the time of the Lord's favour has come... from Luke 4:18,19.
If we say, "What kind of a God would allow suffering on the earth?", we are asking the wrong question. "What kind of a person am I, that I allow suffering to go on right before my eyes and do nothing about it?"
Imagine the kind of world we would have if all North American Christians would help the poor of our world in some way, imagine...

"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and invite You in, or needing clothes and clothe You? When did we see You sick or in prison and go to visit You?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.' Matthew 25:37-40

Lord keep our eyes and hearts open to the needs around us. There is so much work to do. Let us encourage each other in this task.

Thank you so much, my dear children.

'Some people work hard, some people work smart'

Someone said this to me many years ago. At the time, this meant the one speaking was working smart and I was working hard and not accomplishing much because I wasn't working smart. All these years, I have felt that I haven't quite measured up in this person's estimation. It's amazing how one comment can stay in the heart, influencing life and thoughts. It confirms the idea that one should be careful with what one says. Our words have power to uplift and encourage or to keep someone at mediocre for a very long time. It's more than twenty years since this was said to me.

I have finally learnt something better about this idea of working smart.
Working smart is doing the things that really make a difference in life, like spending time, encouraging or helping someone. We are all made in the image of God and precious to Him, therefore we should respect and foster relationship with even those we think a bit strange.
Working smart is remembering that we are responsible for the well being of the earth as well and not be wasteful or overindulgent.
Working smart is spending time studying God's Word, making it foundational to life not just a handy emergency life preserver. We need a prayful relationship with our Creator.
Working smart is loving those who are hard to love and forgiving those who have hurt you. Gather treasure in heaven which is forever, instead of gathering treasure here on earth where things turn to dust.
Working smart is sharing what the Creator has given you so others can be blessed. That's why He gave it to us in the first place.

All these years, I have thought that I wasn't accomplishing much because I work hard and not smart. But now I realize that working smart is not what I thought it to mean. It does not mean you know how to accomplish what's on the list and more. It means rather that you have learnt something about real living and you are trying to live that way. That's what it is...to be a blessing to others and to love the Lord your God with all your heart.

and may the Lord God bless you

Happiness is...

My last post was november 13th! That's a while ago!

I've been going to class, taking notes, reading, taking notes, summarizing, taking notes,responding, taking notes... I figured out that my assignments totalled 6300+ finished words. Amazing. It's a good thing these words didn't all have to be said at the same time, or else myself would have been even more bleary and foggy brained than I am presently. I'm almost done though...only to remember that the exam is in two weeks.Yikes, woman.

My dear little grandson phoned me today. We had a lovely long conversation. We talked about cars and trucks and air planes and breakfast and outside and play and we sang silly songs and did our alphabet. The darling boy made my day! I miss those children so very much and I really shouldn't say this but I cry about them often and think myself very unfortunate that they are so very far away.Then this happens and I'm all better...for a while.

Another wonderful thing happened this week. I received mail from my darling granddaughter. She is doing a project in school. It has to do with a little paper boy called flat Stanley. Well he arrived this week. He is our visitor and we are to treat him as such. He has become a representative of the princess I miss so much! I suppose he is her ambassador. I'm keeping a journal for him and I stick him in my purse smiley face out, or in the seat elastic of my car so he can see out the window. He goes where I go. I introduce him where ever appropriate and people smile and laugh. Ah, imagination is still alive!!

That's it for today. I want to feed my silly dog and do what ever yet...maybe nothing...

Happy December 1st!
It's first Advent; light a candle and remember Jesus.

...there should be no poor among you...

'That's where we need to be generous!' I said to myself.

I just did a paper on the book of Ruth in my studies. I think the research I did will be going through my head for a very long time to come.

God provided for the poor, the orphans, the widows and the foreigners.(Leviticus 19:9,10) Farmers were not to reap to the very edges of their fields or gather the gleanings of their harvest. "Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the Lord your God." Wow. 'I am the Lord your God'....we would do well to listen. So,the care of the poor depends on our generosity, doesn't it? It bothers me a lot that we live in such a wealthy society and the poor remain in the world, here on our doorstep and far away where we can't see them.

My daughter, bless her soul, challenged me just today. She and her husband are not giving gifts this Christmas and they wish not to receive any either.They have decided to give what they can to an organization that does effective work in Africa in lieu of gifts. Most people will go into debt to buy nice things for others who don't need anything, while so many on this planet don't have the basics to live properly. Time to shake some sense into our heads. I'm one to talk, I know. What am I going to do about this? A serious kick in the pants is needed! Get creative woman! I wrote a cheque for our little girl in Africa and said to myself, 'that's where we need to be generous.'
How do we leave the edges of our fields and the missed and fallen grapes of our bounty for those who really need them? We will have to answer for this some day.

"However, there should be no poor among you"...(Deut. 15:4)... No...kidding.

And...what's with this 'we' business? I...me...that's who's business!

'A'

I think I must have spent a thousand hours on the essay I just handed in today! Footnoting is cruel and unusual punishment. I was starting to cackle and mutter and shout,becoming slowly insane, until finally by about 1:30 in the middle of the night, I finished the confounded footnoting for my essay. There were spots before my eyes already and my stomach was hurting so I drank all the wine that was left in the bottle... and went to sleep. This morning I completed the bibliography, downed some 'breaky', rushed to school and had a great class. My prof is a wonderful teacher. She is so passionate about what she teaches and makes such good sense. I would love to take another course with her next semester instead of doing the next intro course with another professor. I'm going to talk to her about that since she is also my adviser. Good idea.
I got an 'A' on my first three summaries/response assignments! I started to cry. It was a touching moment. I can hardly believe it because all I have right now is a brain ache from all this thinking and studying and writing and footnoting. I'm going to have a restful time this afternoon. I'm not 'hit tin' the books today! My brain is going to think happy thoughts only. So there.

I'm all studied out. I'm all shook up. My head hurts and I had to rest my eyes before. A snore woke me. Is it possible to over study?
I think it may be, because my thoughts are empty right now.

Wednesday, November 7th

Just got back from girl's club. I thought I was done with that, but I can't seem to keep away from it. This year I'm teaching grade 5 girls. They are so much fun! They are so smart and so clever. I'm going to have to pull my socks to make sure they have a challenge or two. Next week is a special night when we can do what ever we want to.
I have to finish my 2500 word essay for school before then. Come Wednesday I'll be all done that so girl's club will be 'happy time' for me. We'll eat of course, play some games, make a graham wafer candy house, they were talking about a talent show...so I've got a few ideas to go on. Google has been very helpful. I found good jokes, tongue twisters and word games which were well received. I plan to look for some more stuff.
They are sweet girls.
Gotta go, I have to send that letter to my darling granddaughter!
It's Wednesday after all!

Don't give up

'I understand that an obedient dog is a joy to have,' I told my dog as he was doing the 'get the leash on' dance. He loves his leash and so does all he can to get a good grip on it before I attach it to him. He dumped the bean juice laden compose, and found it quite tasty. I had to get the tap on and wash the deck down. That done, I resumed the fight to get the darn leash on,finally wrestling him down, knee on chest and loping it on the clasp. Once that was on, he did the 'okay, let's go' dance, got the attached leash in his mouth and commenced taking me for my walk. We headed into the wind. I was surprised at the sudden burst and cold of the wind. A good amount of sleet was suddenly upon us so I abandoned my idea to go into the field behind the railway. Once around the block would suffice,I thought. Next time I will have to dress a little warmer, I thought. Now I'm sitting here dry and warm and wondering why I wasn't a little braver. I smell like dog. I'll have to change my clothes. He did walk nicely once we got to the less windy side of the bay. So if he would consider being good right from the start maybe I would have braved the weather and we should still be cavorting in that lovely field, sleet in our eyes, fur being shaken, but happy...he anyways.

fog horn

I'm getting alarmed at how long it takes me to do my assignments! At this rate, I may have to get up at 4 a.m. each night to study. I really need help to get this studying time thing down!
My son-in-law suggested that having a lot of time available isn't always that great because you tend to fill the time that you have. This is very true isn't it? A time crunch may be good. How do I accomplish that? Maybe I could designate times of no homework or maybe I'll have to get a part time job to force myself not to study. I do sit in perplexity a lot. (That is the far away land of confusion.) Someone, clear the air! Where are the concise thoughts I need?
I feel like a sailor on a big ship. I'm in charge and I don't know how to sail this ship. Maybe if someone would sound a fog horn, I could get my bearing. Where's my sailboard? I'm quite comfortable on that.

fragment sentence

It's November!!
Time is speeding by at an alarming rate!
Today I learned a bit about sentence fragments, run on sentences and misuse of commas. Interesting stuff! There's a fragment! And another! We write the way we talk and it will require effort on my part to make sure that my sentences are complete and proper. Now tell me, oh other scholarly peoples, was that a proper sentence? I'm starting to worry.
School is comfortably wonderful! I may never quit! Last night I figured out how to cut the time I take to summarize 30 pages in half, from 10 hours to 5 hours! I may be on to something! I also discovered that I will have to rewrite the first 2 advent Sunday skits and make them simple scripture readings instead. My sister has spoiled the people who plan Advent! I'm hoping it won't take too long to complete.

'Spell checker, spell checker, take you a seat,
won't it be neat, when you can see,
half of the words that you tell me to write,
don't even come close to ...good.
I'm trying so hard to say
the things that
are hard to say
and mean what
I want someone to
un..der..stand.
so please think harder and come up
with some better suggestions
then I will have
a better chance..at..it.
Spell checker spell checker
sing me a song.....don't let it be long...as this...is.

'that Shunammite'

Whenever I read Prov. 31, I feel inadequate. The list of the perfect woman is exhausting and impossible. My Bible has a footnote listing women of the Bible who were noteworthy like Miriam, Deborah, Ruth, Huldah, Hannah, Esther, that Shunammite. (That's what Elijah calls her!). The story is in II Kings 4. Read it for yourself. There are many more women who are worthy of mention, living their lives as devotedly to God as they could. Wholehearted I would say. That's all I can do. ...'a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised.' last verse.
That's what I'll try to remember for today.

I have lots to do again...Lord help me do what's important in Your eyes.
It's barely light outside or seems barely. I'll probably be surprised at what time it is when I go into the kitchen. Chow.

that Mennonite

october 30th

What do you do when your hubby can't keep a secret? It's suppose to be me that can't hold it in. He let the cat out of the bag when we had agreed to not say anything at all. And now it isn't even true any more! Those few who were told will start to think we are a couple of kooks. Maybe they think that already. I think I'll have to gag him or something.
By now I may have to say. But I won't. I just want to know how to get him to be quiet.
On another topic...I had class today. I asked one of the girls, who is able to take notes, listen and tex message at the same time how she thought the midterm went for her. She said fine. I've been shaking my head and studying how to improve on say-it-quick essay writing ever since last Thursday, and she's not worried. Well, tonight I managed to do the outline for my 1200 word essay in only 3 hours, maybe 4. My hope is that I'll learn.
Another new topic...It would be nice to work in a library. I'm studying literature, so....it fits. Will I do it?
My dog is barking, so I have to go.
Til next day..

october 29

Wow, the last post was July! I'm really behind. I've been studying, crazy things have been going on and I've hardly had time to write here. My daughter encouraged me to write as a journal entry, so I will try that approach. Isn't it great to have daughters who are such a delight and encouragement!
To my studying then. Will catch up later.

Well, this is later...
I've studied quite a bit. I really hope that I can learn to study more effectually soon. I meant efficiently but the other word will do. Funny what the spell checker comes up with. I'm still amused by that.
I got Advent #3 done, thank God. Now to brood on the last one.
On the whole I'm pleased with today. Schmooky and I went out in the field and we had a rosy cheeked time. He listened well and I ran now and again and that makes me feel like a kid again.
I talked to Oma. I need to keep checking up on her. We are told to take care of our parents. They took care of us after all.
I think I'll get my books together for tomorrow school time. I also have to get something ready for princess..Odette. I've decided to send her a letter once a week. It's my job as grandmother to keep in touch.
So, God bless and good night...