Girl's Club

One of the girls that has come to club since fall, has now moved away and will not be attending anymore. This is the second girl that has moved away...It makes me sad. I see these girls every week and I will miss them. The only thing I can do for them is pray for them...that's probably the best thing anyway. I love the energy they bring to my Wednesday nights...but then

it is a lot of work to prepare,and I have done it for a long time by now...I'm thinking that this will be my last year...I've said that before and then gotten back into it again, but I think my steamer is getting low...

tonight we worked on a scrapbook calendar and our sewing and our skit...then we played tag...now there's a good work out...next week we are playing glow mini golf

...I'm really tired...

life is rich

Today is a sunshiny day...
and since Christmas I have experienced a lot.

God is good.
He brings people into our lives who cheer us and encourage us...
the hard things don't go away, they seem to stay, but God helps us...this becomes our true riches...and life becomes better as a result.

Today I read..."I am the true vine, and my Father takes care of the vineyard...
He also prunes every branch that does produce fruit to make it produce more fruit"...Jesus

Over Christmas, I learned that hard things actually become good things...
my girls are far away, yes...but we really talk and the times we have together are very precious...which enriches the experiences I have here with my children close by...and now a new gift was given me just today...to realize the care of my niece...wow I'm still crying...this is so precious to me.

I was going to erase those unhappy blogs, but I forgot that part and left my journal open, didn't I?

there is no end to the goodness of God, is there?

my husband is making a fire...how comfortable that will be...

God bless you all

I'm delighted to see...

that no one has read the two blogs before this one.
If I was always to write happy thoughts, I would be a glass horse, just like the glass horse on my desk...never moves and always looks in the same direction, collecting dust.

We have had a very good Christmas...all the kids came home this year. We've had crasy times and some excellent memories have been noted...

I love the fact that we can talk things through and be done with them...on to something else and learn from the last. I've written a whole big journal of this Christmas and I'm happy for all the things that happened.

This year has been a rich Christmas...not wealthy...true rich...

the annuls of a weeping weekend

or should I say the annuls of coping...dealing with what life dishes out...

I cannot deny that I am a mother...that happened 32 years ago and things have not changed...I'm still a mother and even a grandmother.

how do I come to peace about my far away children?

I have relatives in the far east...
the harder I hold on, the harder it will be for me...
it may not be important for my children to be within reasonable distance, but what about the grandchildren...

do I suppose that for them it is equally unimportant?
grama is someone that lives far away...how do I have a good relationship with them without heartache?

lots of people are in my position

I was in church today, even though I didn't want to go...if something bothers me, a tap is turned on and I cry and cry...and that is what happened today. I'm trying to let go and it is very painful...but I'm very glad that we went to church, because God has given us a wonderufl church family...and I have to come to the place where I let them in to replace the ache, the missing of my girls and their families...

at first I felt that no one understands me, but now I feel that some do...and that will help...I pray for the grace to deal succesfully with this long distance sorrow...

funny...I thought the sorrow of my life was the fact that my first husband left us...that has gone and now I feel this sorrow...I cannot be a real part of my grandchidren's lives, the ones far away, and I pray for this grace to deal succesfully with.

I don't think this makes much sense...but maybe in writing it out things will slowly unravel and peace will descend my heart...

we are going out to see some of the kids tonight...it's really cold, so I will wear my long Christmas coat.

wow, a year later

i don't expect anyone to read this, so i'll just type away...

long distance sucks

it is Christmas again and the whole family is coming into town, or is here already...we are having a great time with the grandchildren...but are not really seeing the kids, who are busy shopping and doing stuff...

I'm thinking about the long distance relatives who we no longer know...no effort to speak of is made to maintain a friendship and so the relationship is relatives...what's that?

It worked that way for my mother's family, half of which moved to Ontario...it worked that way in my dad's family half of which is in BC...and now my three girls are moved far away, and even when they come here, I don't see them because they have so much catching up to do. It sucks. I am at an end.

As a grandmother, I would like to be part of my grandchildren's lives. It's wonderful when they come for a visit...I relly get to know them, because they are at my house for 3-4, 4-5 days...but then the rest of our lives I have to be content with phone calls, which are hard to understand what the little ones are saying, or the older ones don't have the time to talk...yes I could become more computer savy and use the eyeball, but that has been highly unsatisfying...like one of those computer pets...

To hardly ever have any normal times with my daughters is really killing me. I have a few choices, I suppose. Do I look for young women who need a mother to go shopping with, or go for coffee with...I suppose I could put an ad in the paper or look for an agency who needs older mother type figures. My nieces have their own mothers for that purpose. I have two wonderful daughter in laws, should I simply concentrate on who is around? I find that I'm becoming bitter. My first husband left us...that was terrible...now my girls are gone...Winnipeg has nothing to offer apparently...I'm really thinking I should go somewhere else myself, but then I see the two darling grandchildren here, close by, and I can't go anywhere else...I guess I have to suck it up...I'm just tired of being sad...on days like today, I wish life would go faster, so that I could just get it over with...

now how's that for a dismal blog?
I really can't do the old optimist thing tonight...
not too worried...no one will read this...this ought to really be going in my personal journal...let it just go down in the annals of the nature of this generation...this wide spread generation...this generation of broken families...

people will learn someday perhaps...some things are meant to be, simply because God made it that way and we shouldn't mess with it...family is meant to help each other out and when they move far apart, it's not too great and very difficult to maintain a good relationship...

this mother would like to spend time with her daughters...this grandmother would like to see her grandchildren grow up...it is not to be...

I'll leave this up a little while and then I'll erase it...because it's depressing me more...it's my midnight therapy...along with a lot of crying...so there now you know what I do for fun...

December 23rd, 2007

It's still Christmas time.

I am deeply moved with the beautiful gift expression our children sent us this Christmas. They are responding in a vital way to the people of the earth.

"This gift buys, vaccinates and provides shelter for one goat, while also training farmers on how to raise healthy and productive animals".
"This gift helps communities plant 100 trees".
"This gift provides one month of meals for an orphaned child".
"Please don't give us any gifts this year...we are going to give to a worthy cause instead. We will not go into debt, we will give what we can afford".

It's amazing what happens when we step out of the norm for our society, recognizing that the extravagance of Christmas giving and recieving is ...say it...
I am humbled. I am very proud of them. I am delighted with them.
There is so much we can do to help others.

As Christians, we are representative of Christ, as people of God's Kingdom. Jesus' mission was to preach good news to the poor, release for the captives, sight for the blind, freedom from oppression for the downtrodden.. the time of the Lord's favour has come... from Luke 4:18,19.
If we say, "What kind of a God would allow suffering on the earth?", we are asking the wrong question. "What kind of a person am I, that I allow suffering to go on right before my eyes and do nothing about it?"
Imagine the kind of world we would have if all North American Christians would help the poor of our world in some way, imagine...

"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and invite You in, or needing clothes and clothe You? When did we see You sick or in prison and go to visit You?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.' Matthew 25:37-40

Lord keep our eyes and hearts open to the needs around us. There is so much work to do. Let us encourage each other in this task.

Thank you so much, my dear children.

'Some people work hard, some people work smart'

Someone said this to me many years ago. At the time, this meant the one speaking was working smart and I was working hard and not accomplishing much because I wasn't working smart. All these years, I have felt that I haven't quite measured up in this person's estimation. It's amazing how one comment can stay in the heart, influencing life and thoughts. It confirms the idea that one should be careful with what one says. Our words have power to uplift and encourage or to keep someone at mediocre for a very long time. It's more than twenty years since this was said to me.

I have finally learnt something better about this idea of working smart.
Working smart is doing the things that really make a difference in life, like spending time, encouraging or helping someone. We are all made in the image of God and precious to Him, therefore we should respect and foster relationship with even those we think a bit strange.
Working smart is remembering that we are responsible for the well being of the earth as well and not be wasteful or overindulgent.
Working smart is spending time studying God's Word, making it foundational to life not just a handy emergency life preserver. We need a prayful relationship with our Creator.
Working smart is loving those who are hard to love and forgiving those who have hurt you. Gather treasure in heaven which is forever, instead of gathering treasure here on earth where things turn to dust.
Working smart is sharing what the Creator has given you so others can be blessed. That's why He gave it to us in the first place.

All these years, I have thought that I wasn't accomplishing much because I work hard and not smart. But now I realize that working smart is not what I thought it to mean. It does not mean you know how to accomplish what's on the list and more. It means rather that you have learnt something about real living and you are trying to live that way. That's what it is...to be a blessing to others and to love the Lord your God with all your heart.

and may the Lord God bless you